The 12 Hoarders of the Zodiac

                   
This past summer, we downsized to a mobile home, and it was a great opportunity to unload a lot of clothes, books and decor that we'd long since grown tired of. The phenomenon of "ownership transfer"  has really begun to fascinate me.
Just this week, I've been helping out with a church rummage sale. One family donated the bulk of the items to be sold, because they also downsized and had to clear out the house where they'd lived for 45 years. Kitchen gadgets, old office supplies, and enough science textbooks to stock the University of Montana library (where the owner's late father made use of them in the dim recesses of the 20th century). I really hope enough people are in need of the items, because otherwise, they'll end up at Goodwill or the Salvation Army, which are already choking on a backlog of unwanted stuff.

Today, a friend and I were busy unboxing the merchandise and sorting it among tables. She talked about the difficulty she has letting go of anything and I silently thought, Of course, you're born under the sign of Cancer. And from there, I started pondering the other 11 signs of the Zodiac. Hoarders can be found among every nationality, religion, culture, and yes, astrological sign.

Here are my impressions of the astrological influence on our attitudes toward possessions. The descriptions can apply to Sun signs, Moon signs, and ascendants, depending on how prominently these signs are featured in an individual's horoscope.

ARIES: The Aries hoarder is convinced that their stuff is better than anyone else's and that their ideas for repurposing are the best. They're not cautious or conservative, so a true Aries hoarder won't stop till they get enough, or until their mountain of "collectibles" is high enough to serve as a suitable monument to their greatness. You will have better luck persuading them to get rid of older items. For this sign, newer is better.

TAURUS: The second sign of the Zodiac is identified by the motto "I have." Taurus typically has favorites - foods, fabrics, colors, etc. They are not competitive. You don't have to like Salvador Dalí, but they do, so mind your own business, thank you very much. Taurus will seek out items that make them feel comfortable. Indiscriminate accumulation isn't really what they're about -- but stubbornness is. So don't try to move their stuff to a new place without permission, and for heaven's sake, don't try to persuade them to get rid of something ... unless you know them well enough to pick out a replacement that they'll actually like. Just don't be too surprised if the old item stays anyway.

GEMINI: Gemini is all about ideas. They may hoard books or papers, and they may also accumulate too many things quite by accident. Their attention is so scattered, they can conceivably have a fleeting idea about something in a store, bring it home, put it on a table and then completely forget about it for months. Or they may start a project and become distracted halfway through. However, one positive characteristic of flexible Gemini is a willingness to throw it all out -- just help them do it fast, before they get bored and leave a pile of trash out on the lawn...or in their car.

CANCER: The fourth sign of the Zodiac is all about family and memories. You will always find an overabundance of photos and albums in their homes. They save everything, and can often be found staring longingly at a scribbled-on piece of paper from their kid's nursery school days -- 40 years ago. Their recollections are vivid and it's all too easy for them to cast themselves back to a happier time, with the aid of the possessions they remember so clearly. Attempts to have them pare things down will be met with extreme emotion. Letting go of anything (or anyone) does not come naturally to this sign. One saving grace is their love of photography, so it's possible to talk them into getting rid of all those knick-knacks after they've taken some really good photos of them -- which they'll be happy to add to that roomful of dusty albums. Cancer is also the caretaker of the Zodiac, and can be appealed to if they see that someone they love is negatively affected by a too-cluttered home.

LEO: Like Aries (a fire sign), Leos believe anything connected with them has to be great. And like Taurus (also a fixed sign), you will run into a wall of obstinacy if you try to get them to purge. Most likely, their home will resemble a circus to some extent. They like bright colors and things related to the theatre. Unfortunately, their inherent snobbery almost guarantees that they'll be accumulating a lot of expensive stuff. You can appeal to their ego by comparing their collection to that of a famous person who keeps their belongings more organized. That might help -- or it might have the opposite effect of inspiring them to rent a warehouse to hold the excess.

VIRGO: Fortunately Virgos, for the most part, are of a minimalist bent. They really crave order and cleanliness, so living in a dusty, moldy home overflowing with pet waste and wadded-up Kleenex isn't typical of this sign. What is typical, however, is hypochondria. They can be physically delicate, and they're susceptible to depression. This can result in a failure to keep things tidy. The mess makes them feel worse, and it's a spiraling cycle. Virgos will respond to a friend with a somewhat firm attitude, since they instinctively respect authority.

LIBRA: This balance-happy sign gets trapped into hoarding when they can't decide what their home should look like. They can be people-pleasers, so if a relative gives them a painting of Elvis on velvet, they may hang onto it for fear that Aunt Myrtle will drop in someday and find it missing. They can also succumb to a "more is better" mindset -- until it all becomes too much. One thing they almost never want to part with is books, so one tactic is to convince them that getting rid of clothes and knick-knacks will give the books more space to breathe. The best way to help them declutter is to help them. Any kind of teamwork feels better to Libra than a solo effort.

SCORPIO: This is a difficult sign to deal with. It's a fixed water sign, so emotions take hold of them and won't let go. A failed relationship sparks warped delusions of revenge, and before you know it, the house is filled to the rafters with the ugliest hoard imaginable. Attempts to talk them into cleaning up are met with wrath and a determination not to budge one inch. You will often see unhappy families drowning in junk, with one person calling the shots, and the rest intimidated into compliance. Sometimes, nothing less than a "Condemned" notice on the front door will have any effect on them. And then just wait -- they'll see the light, turn into clean freaks and tyrannize everyone else from that direction.

SAGITTARIUS: Natives of this happy-go-lucky sign often have no idea how they came to be hoarders. Their nature is to say "Yes, sure, c'mon in!" They say that to things, as well as to people. Like Gemini, they have multiple interests and hobbies, which distract them from the boring aspects of housekeeping. Even the neatest Sagittarians are never that neat -- they don't like to fuss over details. Bring something home, toss it in the corner and think about it some other time. It'll all work out, they think. These are the folks who end up with a junkyard instead of a backyard, and their love of animals can lead to their home being overrun with their "best friends." They can be persuaded to clean it up if it's presented as a game or adventure -- or if they're convinced that the junk can be helpful to someone less fortunate.

CAPRICORN: Depression and guilt are frequent companions to this earth sign, which is ruled by Saturn. They may honestly hate all that French Provincial furniture left to them by their mother, but back in 6th grade, they didn't get all A's and that made Mom cry, so the furniture is a fitting punishment. The more lonely and morose the Capricorn, the more likely they are to fill a dark, dusty house with things, which are easier to deal with than people. Like Virgo, they do respond to authority, so if they won't answer the door to you, just call the Sheriff and report them. Problem solved. Unless they are the Sheriff...

AQUARIUS: Much like Scorpio (also a fixed sign), Aquarians tend to be a law unto themselves. They know exactly what they're doing; they can name every last minuscule object in their home, and all of it serves a higher purpose, beyond the comprehension of us mere mortals. Like Sagittarius, they can sometimes be persuaded to offload their hoard to a charity. Or some new, obscure obsession can take hold of them, and under the influence of their planetary ruler Uranus, they'll sell the hoard, or torch it, and vanish into the dawn with no notice. You just never know with Aquarius.

PISCES: Pisceans are as sentimental as their Cancer cousins, and as fragile as Virgo, which is also a mutable sign. Their ruler, Neptune, makes it difficult for them to face reality. They'll put up with the chaos for a long time, but once they get to where they can no longer cope, they'll turn on the helpless tears and let someone else do all the heavy lifting that gets the place cleaned up. They get away with this because they're sweet. They often can't do a thing to help themselves, but their strong intuition makes them willing to help another person facing a crisis. So when your hoard is too much to handle, you know who you're gonna call.


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More on this topic: http://noeltyl.com/discussion/index.php?topic=4747.0
A final note: While I take astrology seriously, I know many people think it's nonsense.
A little nonsense is always good for the soul, n'est-ce pas?