Love Sickness: Are You Out of Your Element?

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In my teenage years I discovered the cure to the They don't love me back dilemma: Horoscopes. 

In my pre-teen days, I suffered from love sickness. The adults around me called it puppy love. It's only now that i realized that they were not referring to the young girls as puppies but to me as puppy. That how boys are trained into men are dogs. 

I remember my first love, Laura. Actually there were two Lauras. I remember Laura the First as very pretty and I remember lots of wonderful baby fat. She was the class queen.  Since I was not the class king, she did not love me back. A dilemma that haunted me deep into my teenage years. I might add that I do not remember Laura the Second other than her name.

The horoscopes was on the same page of the newspaper as the comics, although I had not noticed the horoscopes before. My horoscope that day said auspicious day for love. One thought led to another and I ended up in the library borrowing Linda Goodman's Love Signs. A very helpful book.

I learned that there are different types of girls with different types of tastes in boys and, mine, the girls who best matched me, were Virgos. According to the book I am an earthy type sign, that is, a sign for food and sex. Virgos, just on the name alone, got me half way to success. 

Math time - three hundred million people or so in the USA, half of them female, so one hundred-fifty million. Twelve horoscope signs, twelve million or so women in each sign. As a guess, four million Virgo girls the same age as me. 

It's the oddest thing, four million Virgo girls and none of them live right by me. Is it like that for you too?

Well to make this story short, many years later at the end of my teenage years, I did meet a Virgo who became my girlfriend. Linda Goodman's Love Signs was right. My Virgo girlfriend loved me as much as I love her.  We were a very good match but we did not marry. Another story, another day.

In the end, I married a Sagittarius. We love each other and get along quite well. I have no idea what Linda Goodman's Love Signs book has to say about our match. I am afraid to look.

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